Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss?

Heh, what don’t I miss? Family members, old homes, you name it, and I’ll go all nostalgic about it. I’ve lost loves, living spaces, and pieces of my life, and though I could name every home I feel nostalgic remembering, every member of family whose graves I’ve cried over, every person I’ve walked away from on good or bad terms, I don’t have a year. I think it can all be accurately explained with one photo:

It’s a third generation iPod Nano, exactly like the one I had when I was about 9 or 10. All the music I had through my early years was on that thing, and every time I came back from a funeral, or first went into a new house, I would sit and listen to it for hours, just me and my songs. Music was my escape, and that thing was my ticket out. It didn’t numb the pain, but it help me bear it.

When I finally gave it to a cousin when I decide to upgrade, it was definitely difficult. Sure, maybe it had been turned into a vessel for all the loss I suffered, but giving it up was almost like giving up every memory that had I had suffer through it with. This, and the music on it had turned into a part of my life, and it represented everything I missed up until that point.

What do I miss? I miss my past.

-Fiachra



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